I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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