you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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