if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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