it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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