did you get engaged???
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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