yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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