The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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