Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
