wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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