How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
