Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
