yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I cannot find my penis.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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