i think my tv is drunk
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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