We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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