CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
