Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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