As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
