I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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