Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
