It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
