Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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