Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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