Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize