Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
