I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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