he told me I talked like a deaf person
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
