Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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