It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
only you would photoshop your dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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