finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
