At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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