i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
