if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
