thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
