Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
