Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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