First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
