dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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