just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
