Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize