Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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