Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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