i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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