I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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