party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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