In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I could make wine with my vomit
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize