I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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