How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
