I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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