two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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