I am puke
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize