I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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