not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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