Christians are straight up FREAKS
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize