on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
