I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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