Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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