I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
